More quadrennial content repurposification:
My ideal Winter Olympic event
The problem with most of the Winter Games events is that only one person or team competes at a time. That's because it's so slippery out there that catastrophes could ensue if athletes competed directly. So, the events end up with play-by-plays like this:
"And there goes Schievenhoffel! He's going really fast. Man, he's flying! He's very quick! Wow, he's fast! Fast, fast, fast! And there's his time: oh, well, he just wasn't quite fast enough..."
What I'd like to see is the Mass Downhill -- all the skiers line up side by on top of the mountain and the first one, no holds barred, to the bottom gets the gold. Whacking each other with ski poles is not only allowed, but encouraged.
Over the years, they've added a number of sports coming closer to my specifications, such as snowboard cross (remember when the American girl only had to stay upright to win the gold but she couldn't resist hot-dogging?) and short-track speed skating.
I'm sorry to hear that Apolo Anton Ohno has hung up his skates. Every four years, you'd see him out there elegantly skating in ovals for two minutes concluded by ten seconds of absolute chaos that always seemed to end with him triumphantly crawling on his hands and knees over the bodies of a couple of fallen South Korean skaters to grab a medal. Then the Koreans would go berserk over how Ohno always getting a medal of some kind was obviously a Nippo-American plot against Korea. They may have had a point, but it was fun TV.